Yesterday was Saturday. Today was Sunday. Was? It still is Sunday, for another 2 and a half hour. I am in my room reading a journal. A scientific journal on climate change, to be precise. I know, I know..How can anybody read that on a Sunday night? Apparently I can, only because tomorrow I need to go see my beloved research supervisor for ..I’m not sure what. I figured, I might as well have something prepared since he will for sure prod and be all lecturer-like with me concerning my research (He should be, since I haven’t actually done anything major with my research. Just some minor readings and notes). Actually, that is the reason why I need to go see him in the first place. I need to know what direction he wants my research to be on. This is practically something new in Malaysia. I for one am not sure what I have to do to get started with this research. I need all the help I can get especially his help. I don’t know. Somehow, I feel like he’s been trying to avoid me or something. Not that he doesn’t want to see me or anything like that. It’s just that I feel like he’d rather if I didn’t go see him that often. He once said that a PhD student should be more independent and lees dependent on the supervisor. I guess he was right with some exceptions. First, if I a PhD student should be less dependent on my supervisor, would I need a supervisor in the first place? Second, he said it himself that this is sort of a new field of study in Malaysia so, is he really sure that I can be fully independent doing this research on my own? Haishh…(sighing with really heavy air blowing from my mouth).
Well, it’s time for me to take action. He could be mad at me and torture me and maybe threaten me (as in end my GRA-ship with him), I am going to see him. I need to know what he wants me to do. I really need to know since I’ve pretty much wasted my first semester doing almost nothing. I need to get started on everything that matters the most to me now-->My FUTURE, my LIFE, my STUDIES…
U guys know when I post this it will already be a Monday. So, it’s only seconds away before I go see him and have that moment of truth (exaggerating?). Ya Allah, Tolonglah hambamu yang lemah dan tidak berdaya dan buntu ini…Amin…Bismillahirahmannirahim..Wish me luck guys..!
Matters of science students
12 years ago
Hi Nadia. How's the meeting? Was it any good? I too spent my first semester reading literatures, writing literature review, planning research methods and not producing any quality results- just to make u feel at ease at this stage. Anyway, a good supervisor will give us clear directions on what's ahead for the coming 3 years of study. There should be a student-supervisor meeting for discussing progress to date, at least every three months especially if he's really hard to catch.If he seems evading, maybe you should get a co-supervisor who can assist u to figure out what next...
ReplyDeleteThanx Yati..actually the meeting went pretty well..(As in, not as ugly as I expected it to be)..He said that part of my anxiety comes as his fault as he wasn't always available to meet me since he has other commitments and stuffs. So, we discussed about a new direction for my studies/research. He was, really, to be honest, concerned about me. He was afraid I might end up not having enough material to write in my theses later. Hehe, it was kind of sweet of him to say that (blushing..)After that, we talked about future plans, contingency plans, and every backup plans we could think of. Hehe..so I really hope this will bring a bright beginning to my new year.Hehe..A big THANK YOU for your commentS/advise/comforting words. It felt so much better knowing other people understand what I'm going through. It is tough enough being the only young PhD student around here (not many ppl take u seriously at this age..Don't u think?)..They have all this theory about going to work first, gain some first hand experience from the outside world, then go back to studying. Somehow, they believe it will make u a better PhD student..(I still fail to agree with that..)..
ReplyDeleteHehe, this is turning into a therapy session. Okay, Next time i have an anxiety attack over meeting my supervisor, I'll know who to turn to, right? (hinting..for future shoulder to cry on..hehe)..
p/s: I do have a co-supervisor--> Just as busy..(sigh..!)