..Let's BE..

"Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.”
William Shakespeare

I have none of the above.
Why?
I do not seek as much as I am not sought after.


Choice of the matter is clear.

I cannot be what I choose not to be.

Sleeping alone?

What if I woke up one day and there was somebody next to me?

Somebody....herk?

Seriously, I can not imagine that.

The reason being is simple --> I do not share my bed with anyone.

Yes, there were times on occasions WHEN I had to give up the comfort of sleeping solo to accomodate to relatives staying over.
Occasions...very rare occasions.

I mean, the reason to the reason I can not imagine having someone else waking up beside me is that I am afraid of what I might unconciously do during my sleep
i:e slap the person, kick the person in the groin,
or worse--> mistake that person's body for a second mattress....(double the comfort) Muahaha !!

One more thing, I have very sensitive ears. I can hear a needle drop on the floor in my sleep--->EXAGGERATING. Still, If there was any movement, my ears would pick up the sound and there goes my sound sleep down the well--->Again EXAGGERATING.

So, just imagine if the person sleeping next to me deicdes to have a sore throat and cough relentlessly (as if the person has any say in that matter)throughout the night right in my ear?
I can imagine this--->SLEEPLESS BEAST--->ME

*Pause for dramatic effect*

*Still pausing*

The point of my entry today is...there is no point.
It was just a random thought I had and I just felt like putting it down here.


Bahahhahahaha!!
You probaly thought I had something brilliant to say with that kind of opening sentence.
You thought wrong.

Hey, It's my blog.
Why do you care?


Boooo..!!

..hurt A little, HEAL a LOT..

I came across this photo on the net.

It is nothing special, just a gloved hand, a bare hand and a syringe.

I just really like the quote that came with the photo.

"Sometime it hurts a little to heal a lot"

Right now, I guess I am healing.

I made myself realize that there are other good, better things in my life besides those people who take pride in hurting me.

I am fine.

I am not okay with it.

But, I am fine.

I just have to keep telling myself that God wants this to happen to me.

It is His own special way of educating me better in this subject called 'Life'.

Oh, dear God, I am learning...I am.

I tried to see pass the anger and the heartbreak that came along with the 'test'.

I tried and I understood a little.

A little means a lot to me.

There will be more of 'this' coming in the future and most probably with intensified effects and drama.

I guess this is a little preparation God has made for me so that when a worse kind of 'this' happens again, it would not take me off guard or rob me off my spirit.

God wants me to be ready.

Yes, I know 'this' will happen again.

Because you can never truly know people.

1 minute they praise you, the second they just can't stop talking bad about you.

One minute they are your friends, the second they are your enemies.

Yes, as long as there are reproductions, 'this' will happen again.

Funny though.

They can be your enemies.

Then, they are your friends again when they want a favour from you.

Funny, funny, funny.

Have they no self respect?

Have they no shame?

Have they no integrity?

I do not have any kind of respect for these people.

None.

Funnier.

They do not care if they are not right.

It only matters when they are the majority.

It is okay to be wrong.

As long as you are the majority.

Because majority wins over a single unit.

Because then, you get to talk about the victory.

Like Napolean, Like Dictators.

How are these people any different?

Funniest.

One of them, will not have a stand.

One is greedy.

One wants to have all.

The majority and the minority.

Isn't there a term for this 'one'?

Mole, rat, snitch, traitor....Backstabber?

Pick one.

I can't.

God will not bestow on His servant a test she/he can not endure.

Thank you God...I am Healing.

this was me

I wanna be able to do this again, i mean really2 do this.

I am trying hard, really.

Understanding U & I

I know that it happened a while ago. I know there is no use in feeling down about it. I just need to understand. I need to understand...

Am I really that hate worthy? Am I really someone everyone can take for granted?
Am I really that worthless? Am I just someone everyone can use as a scapegoat?
Am I really an easy target?

You..
you can't even look at me in the eye and say it..

You..
you don't know how many people actually cringe even at the mentioning of your name..

You..
you think you are all that, but you REALLY ARE NOT..

You..
you call yourself a friend..? You should be shot to death just for calling yourself a person..

You..
you be happy today for tomorrow may not be so merciful..

You..
you should remember that day, as it may come to you unprepared like it came to me the same way..

You..
you better pray that I get over this soon enough For every day that I am not over this, I pray you and the rest be cursed with the most hideous kind of heartbreak..

You..
you and me..today, WE Are DONE !!

--Quotes for ME--

I have been feeling a little low for a while. Emotions are rapidly at work in my brain right now. Wish i could find an 'off' button for it. Had powerpoint presentation about my study last week. Had to go through that and the preparation with all these mixed feelings in me. Not cool. Haish..
Thank God, everything turned out find in the end-->I meant my presentation. The rest of the drama is not over yet. I know. I know. I know....I should get over it. It's life. Trust me, I am trying. Well, I was sorta trying to find comfort in these trying times. Looked for good quotes on the net and stumbled upon these. They are some of the quotes that I like best.

Mishaps are like knives, that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle. -- James Russell Lowell

"Old times" never come back and I suppose it's just as well. What comes back is a new morning every day in the year, and that's better. -- George E. Woodberry

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. -- Author Unknown

The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt. -- Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. -- Author Unknown

There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with. -- Harry Crews

While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it. -- Samuel Johnson

You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present. -- Jan Glidewell

Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.-- Author Unknown

The lines in yellow are my favourite ones..they are right, to me, at this moment. They are telling me to grow up. I MUST..I have to be the best for myself. I must be. I must...

Me described from the zodiac point of view...Huh?

LEO WOMAN

She will stand out of the crowd on the street. Leo woman normally tall or rather tall. You will hardly see a short thick woman. When she walks she walk like a queen, confident and does not look around, though as if there is no one around her. She will dress in her own style not according to fashion. She is confident of what she choose to wear. Do not buy cheap cloths where they sell in dozen for her as a gift, she will hate it. Also do not buy cloths that do not reflect her confident personality. She likes unique and strange cloths and accessories. Being different is what she loves.

If you want to know her, take times and be patient because she is selective about people she mingles with. She's open minded, but yet she is not letting people get to close to her easily. She likes sweet words and compliments, but not too much. She smiles with anyone, but inside she thinks she is borne to be a leader. She likes to be in control because it is in her nature instinct. She is a graceful woman , and she has a magnetic charisma, so expect tough competition.

She is a very proud person, so do not do anything to challenge her confident. She can be mad and act like a hurricane, and later can be like an innocent kitten, but do not fall for her O.K. She remembers everything and likes to cherish her sweet memory, so if you find her old photo albums with her ex-boyfriend or love letters that will make you puke, take it easy. She is keeping her sweet memory does not mean she still in love with the old fool, so you do not have to panic. She will have many guys run after her, so if you have advantage of a good background family, or a famous last name, a successful career then it's a plus.

She hates to be poor and she thinks love will not pay bills. She is a sport type and love sports. If you want to date her, prepare to spend big bugs, for your first dinner with her can not be a hot dog stand, but better be the best place in town. She is a generous person, so do not be surprise if she give you a gift more expensive than what you gave her. She likes extravaganza, no cheap gift, no cheap dinner please. Being poor or broke make her depress. If you do not have lots of money, be creative and make your own gift for her. It's unique quality and times spending making it for her is a big deal. You can think economical, but do not be cheap.

Disclaimer:

1- I can be considered tall. I walk at 1.68 m of height everyday. I don't wear heels. So, no, I don't walk like a queen cuz queens usually wear heels--> they have to, it's compulsory.

2- I do like to be different and wear my own style (though I'm not sure what it is) and am also confident walking in what i wear. I do love expensive stuffs, who doesn't? But, I adore cheap stuffs. I live and breathe in them everyday. You won't find any Louis Vuitton laying around my closet anytime soon. Anytime i get a cheap bargain, say a RM5 shirt, I would be calling my best friend to brag about it simply cuz I get a cool shirt for just RM5. Haha..

3-Ok, I love mingling. Yeah, I have trouble letting people in easily. I learnt the hard way not to do that on a regular basis anymore like I used to back in the days. But, i dont think I am that selective with the people I mingle with. I have friends who've been to jails for drugs, stealing and all sorts of other misconducts---> My mom better not be reading this. Still, I am friends with them cause I know myself better not to follow in their foot steps.

4-I do not think I was born to be a leader. Actually I'd prefer to have a leader in front of me anytime of the day. Being a leader is hard work u know. I do not take that task lighty which is why I would gladly give way to other realiable individual to fill the seat.

5-I do not get mad like a hurricane. I am a very rational person. There has been a lot of ocassions in which I kept my cool where other normal people would blow up. Ask my friends, how many times have they seen me get mad? U can expect long pauses from them.

Huh. well...I do not get the whole zodiac thing. They missed describing my personalities by miles..i guess u really can't categorize people. There are 6 BILLION people in the world. How can you divide them into just 12 groups of characters? Trust me, there are 6 billion type of people on this world today...I'm just one person, one character, one ME.